Changes
by Virgo girl 14
Summary: Doctor Who/Secret Diary of a call girl cross over. Rose Tyler is back in her own world under a different name. 10th Doctor finds her. Sparks fly, but not the kind you think. the fic's better than it sounds... please read and review
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The only one in the entire story so pay attention lol. I don't own the idea of Secret Diary of a Call Girl. I don't own Doctor Who. I don't own David Tennant as much as I want to, Georgia Moffett has him unfortuneately. The only thing I own is the plot of my story and the fact I decided to mix the two shows together**

**Changes**

**-Chapter One-**

Rose Tyler, or rather now, Hannah Baxter, but known by her work as Belle De Jour, was finishing off getting ready for her night of work in her bedroom. She'd only got 2 clients to see tonight. She grabbed her back, checked and rechecked it, and rechecked who she was seeing and she set off out of her apartment and her bag on her arm. She wore a deep red, tight fitting dress and matching high heeled shoes. She didn't notice the strange but familiar blue box as she passed.

She called a black cab over and gave the driver the name of the hotel she was going to. He drove her straight there. She paid her fare and got out, walking into the hotel and going straight to the bar, sitting on one of the barstools at the edge of the bar, keeping her bag close.

The Doctor stumbled as he ran down the street, into the hotel Rose had just gone in, his brown trench coat billowing behind him, his converse clad feet slapping the ground as he ran, catching up with the Zygon that was escaping.

"Oh!" he yelped as he crashed through the bar and knocked into her. "Sorry! Don't mind me!" he apologised and he carried on after the creature.

She sighed a quiet sigh of relief when he didn't notice her completely. She waited half an hour longer. "Right…" she glanced around her and at her phone to check the time. "Time for work…" she muttered with a small smirk, walking over to the reception desk, asking for which room number her client was in and she started toward the stairs.

During that half an hour the Doctor had carried on running,but soon gave up and trudged back to the hotel, accidentally knocking into her again. "Oh.. Sorry, love, I seem to-" he started, but then looked, really looked at her. "No…"

She stumbled, gripping on to the banister and turned to look at him. "Next time look where you're going and be careful, yeah?" she smirked, pretending that she didn't know him. _'Why him? Why now?! I thought I got away from all that!' _she thought. She started up the stairs again.

The Doctor grabbed her wrist, wheeled her around and looked hard at her. "Rose…" he said, then looking up and down her body; from the brunette curly hair, to the tight fitting crimson dress, to the matching shoes. He swallowed thickly. "Rose you look..-" he couldn't finish.

"Who's Rose?" she asked, keeping up pretences and tugged, trying to pull her arm free from him.

His eyes penetrated hers more. He knew it was her. The way she spoke, the way she looked, the exact colour of her eyes, though the only change there was her hair colour, her attitude, the way she stood… with a great thump of pain in his hearts, he dropped her arm, letting it fall to her side.

At that time, her client had come from his room wand was at the top of the stairs. "Are you ready? Is everything alright?" he asked.

The Doctor felt deep, dark anger and rage and hate and… and a strong urge to kill him bubble up inside of him, "No she's not, and that's no concern of yours." he growled, his eyes blazing.

She glared slightly at the Doctor before turning and smiling at the man. "Yeah I'm ready, and everything's fine, it's just a case of mistaken identity." she said and turned back to the Doctor. "I'm not who you think I am, but whoever she is, I hope you find her soon."she told him, turned one last time amd walked up the stairs to the room.

The Doctor didn't even acknowledge that she'd said anything, and he himself didn't say anything, scared that if he did, there'd be trouble. Turning, he disappeared down the rest of the stairs and to the bar. He hadn't drunk in so long.

She reassured her client that everything was alright as she took the usual envelope with the money in before she did what she had to. She walked out after an hour and made her way down the stairs. She stopped half waqy when she heard her phone ring from inside her bag and she took it out, answering it without looking at the ID. "Hello?" she said. She rolled her eyes when she heard Stephanie's voice on the other again trying to get her to come back to her. A week after her book had been published, and her ex madam wanted her back? Hell no. "No chance Stephanie. I make my own decisions now. Not you." she said and hung up, throwing it back in her pag and walking down the rest of the stairs and over toward the bar. She noticed he was still there and turned to leave.

Over that hour, the Doctor had drunk a lot, and thought a lot about the past, the future, his huge family, though he always ended up alone.

He shuddered and noticed her move toward the doors, he got up and followed her. "Was he worth it?" he grunted, his pain not evident. He could smell it on her.

She could smell the alcohol on him and she wrinkled her nose. She rolled her eyes at him ignoring his question, and she walked back to the bar, unaware he followed her/ "I'll have a water please." she told the barman. "Look, what I do is my business, no one else's. I don't have to explain myself to you." she said, looking at him when she could smell the alcohol behind her again.

He just laughed without compassion. "Sounded like he was worth it." he said. "What happened to you? OH! Water?! Not doing the old drugs and vodka that goes with your lifestyle?" he said bitterly.

She glared and slapped him. "How dare you!" she growled. "No. that ISN'T how my lifestyle is. If you wanna find out for yourself, go research the name Belle De Jour. And when you've done that, try the words High Class Escort." she snapped, but kept her voice low so only he could hear. "NOTHING in my line of work is for the benefit of drugs or alcohol. What happened to me? I fucking grew up that's what I did."

He took the slap with ease. He shouldn't have said it, he knew that. But once again rage flew through him. "This is what you call growing up?! No matter what you call it it's still prostitution! You were never like this! Never! You had standards. For Rassilon's sake you used to work in a shop!" he snapped.

"Being a shop girl is having standards?" she laughed darkly. "You do know I was treated like shit back then." she rolled her eyes. "Yeah right, I have standards in this job. I protect myself at all times, unlike the ones on the streets. I work through an agency that sorts out the clients, making sure we get the safest ones possible." she told him. The thing about the agency was a lie. But she still did sort though the clients and she had close friends to turn to. And she knew what to look for.

He let out a hollow laugh. "Yeah but I bet you're lonely." he said, his voice sniding. "Not many men would stick around with a whore would they? Not many men would enjoy knowing their girlfriend sleeps with strangers for money." he hissed at her.

She held her own, though inside she was breaking. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing her cry. She was back in the Parallel World, being put down at any given chance.

"You were a beautiful, compassionate, confident young woman." he said softly, thinking of how she used to be. "You're not the woman I loved. Not anymore."

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't CARE what I did, you'd love me for who I am not what I do." she glared, grateful her voice wasn't shaking. "I use what I have to MY advantage not theirs. There's no emotion behind this. It's just sex, that's all."

He stared at her, the rage of the oncoming storm in his eyes. "Just sex." he said slowly.

"Yes." she nodded.

"Something happened to her. To Rose Tyler. I don't want to know this woman." he said and walked to the door.

She watched him in confusion, all her willpower on keeping the tears inside. "I'm still me… underneath all of this… I'm still me…" she'd let her guard down and she knew it.

He stopped at the door and looked over his shoulder. "Like you said. I must have the wrong person." he said and walked out. He heard a rumble and heavy rain started to come down. "Great." he muttered and looked for the TARDIS.


	2. Chapter 2

**-Chapter two-**

The Doctor stood in the rain for a while.

_How long are you gonna stay with me?_

_Forever._

He sighed and hit his head with his hands.

_Her name was Rose…_

He grimaced as the memories hurt.

_What was the end of that sentence? Go on. Say it._

_Does it really need to be said?_

That same memory flashed in Rose's mind of her on that beach, between two identical yet so very different men. "Yes it does…" she muttered. A question she should have answered long ago. Then maybe… just maybe… she wouldn't be as scarred inside as she was. She closed her eyes for a moment while she composed herself, and she opened the door but stayed in the dry.

The Doctor stood in the shadows watching her. His Rose… No. No… she wasn't his anymore… she was Belle or whatever she called herself. But she wasn't his Rose anymore.

He had to apologise to her. At least leave with a clear conscience. He walked back to her, drenched from the rain. "I'm sorry."he said softly, any trace of alcohol gone, just stone cold sober Time Lord now.

"That's what he used to say… when an argument went too far…" She said quietly, shrugging and looking at the floor.

His hearts stopped. "What do you mean 'too far'?" he asked, his voice thick.

"What do you think." she didn't look at him. "Anyway. That's not why I turned to this. I turned to this because I like it."

He placed his fingers gently under her chin, his eyes wide. He was wishing, oh, wishing she didn't mean what he thought she meant. "Please tell me you mean argument only… That he didn't… lay a finger on you…" he barely whispered, anger and pain shooting through him.

She pulled her head away and looked at the floor again. "Doesn't matter… I've come out of it stronger."

White hot fury burst through him, his vision tinted red. "Oh… Rose." he sounded crushed, properly hurt. "Please… Rose… I'm sorry…" he murmured, leaning down to catch her gaze "If I'd have known…"

"What could you have done!" she snapped. "You showed me exactly what you thought of me in there! You even sounded like him! I lived a life like that and I had to get out alive! Before he or I killed me first! I won't go back to that! I won't!"she pushed past him into the rain and started walking. The rain hid her tears that had started to fall from her eyes, running black lines of mascara and eyeliner down her cheeks.

He immediately ran after her. "Only because it's me!" he snapped. "And then I see you… Giving yourself to some idiot ape who thinks you should be treated like an object!"he said exasperatedly. "You have no idea what that does to me! I shouldn't feel like… Like this toward you! I just shouldn't!"

"I know he's safe! I don't go in blind on my own! I've got close friends who check the people who book me! They tell me if it's a good idea or if I should take one of them with me or not! Sometimes in life you need to take risks! There's no agenda to it! I'm not about to trap a man with a baby and I'm not about to marry him! Men and women go out and have one night stands and everyone turns a fucking blind eye to it! A woman goes out, sleeps with someone and gets paid for it and instantly WE'RE in the wrong! A man does the same thing and he gets a slap on the back and a "good on ya mate"! how is that fucking fair?!" she snapped.

"Because all those men and women don't have someone standing by who burns up suns just to say goodbye." he said quietly.

"That was years ago even for me!" she told him. "That doesn't answer the question and I don't even have that." she shrugged.

"Rose…" he murmured her name. "This life, the money… What could make you give it up?"

"I don't know… I've already tried giving it up. Trying to be 'normal' but it never works. I always drift back to this, because you see a different person every time. You get really good money… and… it's enjoyable." she said.

He nodded. "What about coming back with me?" he asked, tilting her chin up again.

"I don't know…" she shrugged, still not looking at him, her eyes closing.

He couldn't help it, he immediately brushed his lips to hers lightly.

She gasped and took a step back, her eyes snapping open wide to look at him.

He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "Sorry… I shouldn't have presumed…"

"It's fine…" she said quietly. "Just… not used to it… not like that anyway… the only time he ever kissed me was… no wait… that was me…" she added, her voice barely audible.

He listened to her ramble and bit his lower lip. "You deserve so much better than me Rose Tyler."

"You know… he managed to say it. Only once, when I asked the two of you… You know what I wanted? I wanted it to be you. What did I get? 'does it need saying?'… if you want to run away that's fine… but I'm done. I'm finished. I can't take waiting anymore."

"Could you do it? Give it up? Leave all this… If I say those 3 words?" he said, his voice weak. "Do you know what it did to me? Seeing you kiss him. What it felt like? Like someone was ripping me apart without any pain relief. Just digging and digging and digging. Just like how it felt when Gallifrey burned."

"You should have said it then." she pointed out. "Then maybe I wouldn't be standing here in the rain. I just… I don't know… I honestly don't know…"

"Rose Tyler…" he started and met her gaze. His eyes scared of rejection. "Rose Tyler I-" he paused. "I love you."

"You're just saying that now." she said.

"Since 'run'." he said softly. "Always since 'run'."

She laughed a little at the memory. "You know… I still can't believe I fell for the bald head and big ears…"


	3. Chapter 3

**-Chapter three-**

"B**ack then…" he murmured, nodding, sliding his damp arms around her, pulling her closer, nuzzling her jaw and neck.**

"**Don't…" she muttered, but she let him hold her.**

"**It's killing me…" he muttered to her, and brushed his lips with hers. "I'm sorry I was a fool."**

"**I said don't." she said a little firmer.**

**The Doctor nodded, pulling back and shivering a little. "Too late." he whispered to himself before taking a step back from her. "I'll be off then Rose…" he said gently, his eyes not meeting hers, he couldn't not do it anymore. He just couldn't.**

"**No… it's just… from you I'm not used to that… partly because it's never technically happened and mainly cause of him…"**

**The Doctor just laughed weakly, still refusing to meet her gaze. "Well I said it. I'm done now. You can get back on with your life, I'll even erase the last hour out of your head if it helps?" he asked her, his eyes flickering to hers for a second.**

"**Fine… do whatever…" she muttered, pushed past him and started to walk away again.**

**He let out a frustrated yell and just kept walking. He'd been alone for far too long. Since Donna… He shut his eyes letting himself feel the spin of the Earth. Time to go. Time to find somewhere new and stay there. Settle down to the domestics if he really had to.**

**She walked back to her flat, the rain still hiding her tears.**

**He was back at the TARDIS, walking around the empty console room, she deserved one final gift. He waited until midnight, landing silently outside Rose's new apartment, at least that was what the TARDIS showed him. He wandered silently up the stairs, and outside the door, and he posted a TARDIS key, a photo of them both and a number under the door, if she ever changed her mind and forgave him. He wandered back down the stairs and out the door.**

**Rose stood by the window. The tears and the rain had long since stopped. She looked out of her window, biting her lip when she said the TARDIS.**

**He stopped, taking one more good look back at the window, and walked back into the TARDIS.**

**She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed quietly. "If he loved me he wouldn't care what he did. He'd love me for ME!" she muttered, opening her eyes and walking to the door, picking up the things he'd posted through the door and put them on the table, moving back to the window.**

**He stood very still in the TARDIS. He wante to go back… God help him he did. To claim her as his own and mark her as his. But he couldn't… Her… How she used her body. He shivered. He wanted to get every single man and woman whoever touched her, and show them exactly why they shouldn't have done it. He froze, so overcome by his emotions. He really did love her. He shot out of the TARDIS and he was back by the front door in less than 10 seconds, banging at the door.**

**She rolled her eyes and walked to the door and opened it.**

**He stood in the doorway, his hands either side of the frame, his head hanging between his shoulders as he looked at the floor, his chest heaving. In an almost growl, he spoke "I don't care what you do! All I do know is that I'll make you forget each and every pathetic human who's ever so much as touched you…"**

"**How…?" she asked, looking at him, biting her lip.**

**There were a million reasons telling him why he shouldn't do what he was about to do. But he ignored them, his own selfish pride taking over, he looked at her, and captured her face in for an ever so soft kiss.**

**Part of her wanted to pull away, but for some reason she stayed, let him kiss her, and she couldn't stop herself and she kissed him back.**

**He wrapped his arms around her waist, dragging her close with a dirty grin as he deepened the kiss, though he knew he only had a little time before she pushed him away.**

**She pulled back a little after a few moments, turning her head and leaned against him. "Too far…" she whispered.**

**He rested his forehead against hers, his mind and hearts racing at just being able to touch her, he licked his lips, and he could still taste her. "Rose…" he said, his voice deep and husky. "Do you have any idea how much control you have over me?"**

**She smirked and shivered, looking at him. "I think I have a fair idea. I do actually hold the power of the men that come to me."**

**He caught his breath, his messy hair falling into his eyes. "But I'm not like all those other men." he growled. "I could make you feel so much-" he muttered to her, his lips grazing her jaw.**

"**Maybe… Maybe not…" she muttered. She turned her head away, uncomfortable with the contact. She felt she was back in the parallel world again, she closed her eyes.**

**He could almost taste how uncomfortable she was and let go of her, taking a large step back. "Tell me about him." he said.**

**She shook her head. "I'd rather not…"**

"**Rose please…" he said. "" I need to know what happened…**

"**Why do I have to tell you when you can just see for yourself?"**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

The Doctor met her steady gaze. "Do you mind…?" he looked at her temples.

"If it'll shut you up…" she shrugged.

"You never used to be like this." he said and took her hand cautiously and lead her to her bedroom. "Safer here." he said and laid her down and he sat on the edge, kicking off his converse so not to get the covers dirty. He placed his fingers to her temples softly, budging into her mind. "Take me there, Rose."

"People change." she said quietly. She closed her eyes and the lock on the box that had been shoved to the back of her mind was thrown off. One vivid memory was eager to escape.

_She was hiding in a dark room, shaking and terrified. She was covered head to toe in cuts and bruises, blood both still wet and dried, having just escaped a beating, a lot less worse than her previous ones, and her attacker was now taking his anger out on another room, smashing and breaking anything he found._

The memory caused her to whimper quietly, her eyebrows creasing together.

The Doctor felt a surge of anger and pain. "Oh, Rose… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… but I have to know… are there more?" he asked, gently probing her mind.

"Stop it…" she whimpered, but a new memory had already started.

_She was in the living room, staring into space after having cleaned up the whole house, and now had nothing else to do. She waited, enjoying the brief moments of the day when she wasn't getting hurt or being forced to do things. She had to tell him something important, but was too afraid of how he'd react. She was jolted back to the real world when the door slammed shut, and she quickly stood up, looking toward the door, seeing him walk in. she told him she was pregnant, and wished she hadn't, because just as she predicted, he lashed out, making sure that that night, she lost the baby._

She pushed herself away, off the bed and into a corner, shaking.

His hands slipped from her temples, his face a mixture of outrage, pain and sorrow. "Wh-" he started in a low whisper, and started slowly round toward Rose. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" he whispered to her, noticing she still had some scars on her arms. "Oh, my precious Rose…" he muttered, carefully so not to scare her, pulled her into his lap. "He's gone… it's me… I'm so sorry I left you…" he whispered, pressing little kisses to the scars.

"Stop it…" she pushed uselessly against him, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I'm not him," he whispered to him gently. "I would never do that. Never hurt you." he told her gently.

"Please… just stop…" she whispered.

"Please, Rose." he pleaded with her, holding her closer, enough that she didn't feel claustrophobic, but made her look at him. "I promise you… I will never hurt you like he did. I don't care about your job, where you live… I need you."

"Get off me!" she pushed against him again, she still hadn't been released from the memories.

He looked terrified as he gently pushed back into her mind, aiming for the memories, and quickly pushed them to the back of her mind so she wouldn't remember them in great detail, however he cleaned up some of them so that she wouldn't be haunted each time she looked at him. "It's okay Rose…" he whispered.

She closed her eyes, and slowly and eventually relaxed, the tears still silently falling down her cheeks.

He picked her up and carried her back to her bed, laying her down on it and pulling the covers over her, and walked out to make them both a cup of tea.

She curled up and buried herself in the covers, and she curled her arms around herself, as though holding herself together.

He came in and watched her when he was done. He placed the two cups on the bedside table and carefully sat down on the bed and shuffled her close so she wasn't alone, his arms around her protectively.

"He made me feel worthless… useless…" she said quietly, breaking the deafening long silence. "Doing what I do… gives me a purpose. I can enjoy it. to the people I see, I'm not an object. No matter what I am, what I do, I'm alright."

He listened. "Then he was lying and he was wrong." he told her, and tilted her head so she was looking at him, and then rested his hand on her cheek. "Rose Tyler, you are a beautiful, confident, absolutely amazing, compassionate woman… you didn't deserve what that… that fucking monster did to you." his eyes were dark and stern and solemn. "And I wish I hadn't left you with him. I should have known, he was a part of me… the anger, the malice, all that pent up frustration I'd rather lock away, I didn't realise… how bad he actually was." he rambled and looked at her. "But why… you've never been an object to me."

"And I'm not an object at work either. To him, I was just something to beat up every night." she shrugged.

"And I'm not him." he said weakly. He didn't want to argue. "Rose, you are an object at work, you're an item of fantasy, you fulfil people's needs without wanting anything in return apart from money. It's not love. You don't get anything back." he tried to prove his point as gently as he could. "When you travelled with me… you were… in fact still are my everything…I was a coward, when I saw you kiss him, I ran. it was that or punch him and claim you as mine… so that nobody could touch you. No one but me. that it would be my name torn from your lips as we…" he trailed off, embarrassed.

She laughed softly. "But going through all of that… made me stronger that I had ever been before. I get more than just money in return. If you see the same client often enough as I do, they become friends. Just friends you'd never want your best girl friends of your parents to me. But friends nonetheless. I could do anything I wanted, yes I know. So what's wrong with me WANTING to do this? Something that people who don't understand, see it as lying on your back, opening your legs and moaning a lot. It's so much more than that." she told him.


	5. Chapter 5

-chapter five-

The Doctor stared at her. It silenced him, he still didn't think it was right, but maybe that was the jealousy and male pride in him that did that. "Do you enjoy it?" he asked, his voice now very small.

"Honestly?" she looked at him. "Yeah. Yeah I do." she nodded. "I'm done lying to make everyone else feel better. So… there's the truth. Sorry if it hurts."

He felt a little sick and he moved away from her. "You know what they say… truth hurts and all that rubbish."he couldn't look at her knowing that… knowing that she didn't need him anymore. It stung and it hurt. She was her own woman now and he just had to accept it. "Well I hope you find whatever you want in your life." he said formally.

"You see? And that's why I can't do relationships with what I do! I get THAT reaction! And the odd disgusted look as though I shouldn't be alive because of it." she said and she got up, walking out of the room.

He wasn't ready to let go of her again, not now, he quickly followed her, grabbing her wrist and softly tugged her back towards him, his eyes burning. Maybe it was old age that made him like this, maybe it was the fact he was still broken from losing her the first time round. He never knew.

"You think it's easy… watching the one woman you love… go out… sleep with other men, other women maybe? Honestly, do you think it's that easy?"

"No, I know it's not. But you could just… understand that out there I'm Belle. Out there in those other people's beds, I'm Belle. Back here, I'm me. Hannah, Rose, whichever one I want to use. Out there, I'm just like any other person going to work. After all we're all whoring ourselves for the man. Back here, I'm a normal girl."

He looked at her. Oh he wanted to believe her, but he couldn't. "This is too hard…" he whispered, his hearts thumping, causing him too flinch. "I can't handle losing you again."

"The only way you'll lose me is if you go now." she stated.

He stared at her, his mind a constant battle and he looked down. "I told you- I can't do domestic." he said. "But I can't let you go." he added.

"Can't or won't." she said.

He looked at her steadily. "Both." he said firmly.

She rolled her eyes, shook her head and turned away from him. '_Fight for me!_' she shouted in her head.

He flinched as she turned away from him, his hearts breaking and he just put on a mask, expressionless and blank and he left without saying goodbye, closing the door with a soft click behind him.

She glared. "Right… so he comes here, calls me a druggie, follows me home, makes me show him my memories then fucks off again…?" she muttered, growling quietly, she walked to the door and locked it, and put the deadbolt on. He wouldn't be able to get in now. She grabbed her phone and dialled a number, and she went into the living room, curling on the chair as she waited for one of her friends to answer.

He noticed it was raining again and he sighed heavily. He didn't, couldn't look back. He was broken. He carried on walking, his converse slapping against the wet concrete, he just carried on walking, no emotion whatsoever in his eyes. He soon got to the TARDIS and he slammed the door behind him, not soeaking, stopping the TARDIS from entering his mind to comfort him.

She got a message from Ben saying he was outside and she got up, unlocked the door and opened it, buzzing him in so he could come in. She felt nothing, completely numb inside.

The Doctor continued to ace the TARDIS. He walked back out eventually, about to go back to her when he saw the man walk into the flat. he turned away with a lump in his throat, his eyes dark.

Rose looked up at Ben. "You don't know me like you thought you did…" she muttered as he sat next to her.

"What's wrong?" Ben asked.

She sighed and she started to tell him everything. Even the girl she once was, the girl she'd buried long ago.

Ben listened and hugged her tightly, staying by her. He didn't care who she was. He cared greatly about the woman next to him who had come a long way.

The Doctor stormed into the depths of the TARDIS, his only escape right now was books. When he reached the library he grabbed the first book that came to hame and tried to force himself to read even though his insides were screaming for him to go back to her.

Rose pushed herself to sit up when Ben got up to make them both a drink and she bit her lip. She wasn't as strong as she'd like everyone to think she was. She was damaged, broken.

The Doctor stayed in the library, not moving for a good few more moments. It was time to go. Time to move on. She didn't want or need him anymore, the pull wasn't there anymore. He got up, threw his book in some random direction and made his way back to the console.

"I'm just gonna go outside for a bit…" Rose said, getting up and walking out before Ben could answer her. She stood outside by the door in the cold night air.

The Doctor quickly peered out the TARDIS doors. He saw her outside and saluted her, but she didn't see, she stared at the floor in silence. He whistled to her and saluted again, walking back inside. It was the hardest thing he'd had to do.

She looked up and rolled her eyes. "Go on! Leave! All I ever see is the back of you!" she called over and she walked back inside.


	6. Chapter 6

**-Chapter six-**

The Doctor was so close… so close to pushing the lever, leaving her for the third and final time. He growled to himself, pushing off the console and out the door, toward the apartment, running up the stairs and banging on the door.

"Break the door down next time…" she muttered, walking to the door and opening it. "Forget something?" she asked.

"Seeing as you're happily set in your live, and I have to keep moving on you know the way it is. The offer is still there if you want it, to travel again." he said, his eyes sought hers out. "It doesn't matter what you do or say, you'll still be my Rose Tyler." he finished with a small smile, his hands in his pockets.

"And… you decided to break my door down to tell me that?" she raised an eyebrow. "Unless…" she turned to look at Ben who was stood in the doorway of the kitchen, and looked back at the Doctor. "Unless you thought I was gonna sleep with my best friend?" she smirked and laughed.

He just stared unblinkingly at her. "I didn't break your door down, I knocked." he said. "What you do in your spare time… that's your business."

She rolled her eyes. "You're the worst liar in the universe." she smirked, walking back to the living room, leaving the door open, and she sat on the sofa.

He nodded. "Okay. Don't say I never tried to get you back Rose. And I'll try not to break your door." he said, going to walk out and shut it.

'_No but I can say you didn't fight for me!'_ she thought. She sighed. "Fine. Go. I give up now, I really do."

He just nodded. "Maybe that's for the best."

"I'm just sick of seeing the back of you all the time… If it wasn't your back it WAS the back of your… _his_ hand…"

He froze, white hot fury burning through him, he kept his distance. "If you ever thought I was that monster who did that to you, then you're god damn deluded!" he snarled, turning to face her. "I would never hurt you in the way he did, but of course you won't listen to me. Maybe you always seeing my back is better than having to put up with the fact that I let you through my grasp. So let me ask you this. If it had been me at that beach, if I told you I loved you would you have come with me?" he said darkly. "All the times I saved your life and you mistake me for him." he growled his eyes flashing angrily.

"Yes, yes I would have!" she snapped. "And you're doing exactly what he did." she added, having to hold on to Ben's hand to stop the fear rising in her. "What does that make you right about now."

"Then maybe you need to realise I'm not him. All you're seeing is him, none of what you're seeing is me, just a memory of him. Why would I ever deliberately hurt you? I spent two years making sure you were out of harms way." he told her.

"How would I know? You said he WAS you when we first met, you told me if I could fix you I could fix him too. How exactly would I know that you wouldn't have done the very same thing if you didn't love me? HOW?" she said. "He IS you remember! You didn't even like me when we first met so I wouldn't even know the damn difference! Gonna tell me those memories you saw were made up!"

"But I never hurt you like that did I." he said angrily. "I'm not him, how many times?" he yelled at her. "I'm not denying what I saw, but that was him not me!"

"I never said _you_ would_ now!_" she said. "But you still said he was you when we first met." she sighed, got up and walked out of the room, needing to calm down.

He just followed her. "Of course I said it! You wouldn't have gone and kissed him if I told the truth! And you know that! What was I supposed to do? You had your mother and your family there. To give up the chance to have a normal life would have been ridiculous!"

Her eyes flashed. He knew… He knew what sort of life she REALLY would have had and he STILL let her go to that… "You knew what he was like and you STILL let me go?" she looked at him. "You LIED to me! I LEFT ON MY OWN TO FIND YOU! IT WAS YOU I WANTED TO BE WITH AND YOU SENT ME STRAIGHT BACK!" she raised her voice. She couldn't believe what she'd heard. "Rejection or bloody what… At least doing what I do I'm safer than I was back then. I'm wanted. If I'd have stayed I wouldn't be standing in front of you now, I'd be dead."

He let her scream and shout at him if it made her feel better. "Who says you're not wanted? And You couldn't have wanted me that much, because the last thing I saw you were quite happily entertained by his lips." he said darkly.

"HE told me I wasn't!" she snapped. "You told me he was you! What the hell did you expect! At least if he WAS you I could have had one of you! But no! You lied, you knew what he'd really do to me and I suffered because of it!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter seven**

"**You know full well we were both different people! Because I didn't say I love you." he froze. "I love you. Does that make it easier? You have a normal life which you can move on to. But me? I have roughly, ooh… 3 weeks." he snarled. "3 weeks left! Then I die!" he yelled at her "So you tell me who's got it worse! You have your friends and family! I have no one! I'll be on my own!"**

"**Your exact words to me were "he is me when we first met. You fixed me now he needs you to do the same for him." Do you want to check my memory to clarify that?" she said. "You can't pin that on me! You won't be making me feel guilty and make me feel sorry for you! You know what you need to listen to Sarah Jane more. Because as much as she can be stupid like the rest of us she talks sense. And you're only alone because you push people away that much until they finally say 'you know what… you don't want me so what's the point?'."**

"**I'd rather have you all hate me than see you all end up dead." he said. "And why do you think I said it? After 2 years did you not know how I felt? The fact I almost told you the night we met Sarah Jane? Do you remember those words?" he said, pausing as he remembered.**

**She remembered also, but she needed him to say it, not subtle hints.**

"**I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and die. Imagine watching that happen to the one you l- look… you can spend the rest of your life with me but I can't spent the rest of mine with you. That's the curse of the Time Lords." he stared at her defiantly. "You can scream and shout all you want but you know deep down that no matter what I'd say to you I'd never deliberately hurt you."**

"**I've heard all this before! Do you even remember or care what I told you when you first told me that?" she sighed, "I said I didn't care as long as I was with YOU." she looked at him. "That's not the point! You still did, time and time again. Every little push away when I hugged you and you thought it was too long. Every time you left me in that world. You still hurt me. And I told you I'd come back and find you. And you STILL left! Every little way of rejecting me hurt me!"**

**Frustrated, he clenched his fists. He wouldn't hit her, never dream of it, but he needed to hit something. He stared at her, his eyes flashing under the dim light/ "What can I do then, Rose?" he shouted at her, ruffling his hair, pure desperation on his face. "Come on then! Tell me what I can do because every time I try and leave you make a comment and whenever I stay you push me away! WHAT AM I MEANT TO DO!"**

"**If you loved me you'd stay, you'd try and work it out between us. But you all but said no bloke would want me cause of what I do. Damaged goods… You didn't come out and say it but it sounded like it to me and you may as well have just said it…" she sighed. "I've given 99% and only got 1% in return. I've done everything I can…whatever you decide now has to come from you… I'm tired of hoping and waiting and getting myself hurt…" she really did sound tired and defeated toward the end, and she looked at the floor.**

**He wanted to hug her, rid her of every bad memory she had, wanted to screw time itself and go back and change it all.**

"**I want you…" he said finally. "So much… can you really not see it?" he softly lifted her chin, now closer to her. "Look at me… please." he requested softly.**

"**I can't…" she sighed. "Your turn to prove to me you mean it cause I can't keep doing it on my own…" she said quietly.**

**He looked at her and took her hand in his and put her fingers on his temples. "Keep calm." he said and let his mind behin to open, though not so much to overwhelm her, he started to show her everything, how he felt when he first met her and the moment he realised he needed someone, the gutting feeling when she said no to going with him, the joy when she changed her mind. Showing her the stars, every smile planed on her face, holding her hand. Seeing her save his life, the Dalek asking him would he not save the woman he loved, almost losing her. Regenerating and the betrayal in her eyes, how she kept saving him, he aved her, the sword fight, their first kiss, theor second, losing her to the Parallel world the first time, the devil's words…**

**He paused, letting her take it all in.**

**She took a step back, bit her lip and closed her eyes.**

**He felt her fingers leave his temples and his eyes opened. "All this time I thought I was alone, but I had you. You saved me from myself."**

"**Told you that you weren't alone didn't I." she said quietly and walked to her bedroom.**

**He followed her and stared at her. "But I am, look at me. Everyone moves on and I let them. And right now I'm willing to be selfish." he said.**

"**No you're not." she turned to look at him. "In case you've been too blind to see it, everyone comes back when you need them, just like friends, no FAMILY do!" she said. "Sarah Jane, Donna, Martha, Jack, me, Mickey, people you've never met like Luke. Hell even my mum! Do I need to list anymore?"**

"**Only because the world's ending Look at any other time! It's not like I go for afternoon tea with your mother is it!" he snapped.**

"**No one would." Rose said.**

"**Look… can we please not argue? Why are you being so stubborn? I'm trying my best here to show you how much I need you. Do you want me to fall to my knees? To beg? Do you want me to cry myself until I'm sick? Cause I will."**

"**And you don't do it with the others either." she pointed out. "And I'm not BEING stubborn! I'm trying to tell you you're not as alone as you think." she sighed. "I already know." she added.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter eight**

"**Then… do you want me to leave?" he asked. It seemed to him that this was it, that they'd both said their parts.**

"**No…" she shook her head.**

"**Then what?"**

"**Please… stay…" she whispered.**

**He looked at her. "Then I'll stay/" he replied just as quietly.**

**She nodded. "Can I go to bed now? Or do you want to check the bedroom for hidden men?" she muttered.**

"**Sure…" he said silently, and rolled his eyes. "I'm sure if there were ay hidden men I'd probably smell the testosterone from here." he answered and left the room, walking into the living room, only to see Ben still sat on the chair. He'd obviously left them to it.**

"**She's going to sleep.." the Doctor said and gave an embarrassed smile. "Sorry you had to witness that."**

**Ben shrugged. "She fights her corner when she has to."**

**The Doctor nodded. "She never used to… Not saying it's a bad thing." he said. "Good ol' Rose."**

"**She's careful. She knows what she's doing. And I do go with her to some of those things but I hide away so I'm not noticed. And if I think the client's gonna be careful I leave them to it, if otherwise, then I step in. 9 times out of 10 everything's fine but I still wanna do the 2****nd**** option even if she knows what she's doing. But she's my friend and I trust her."**

"**When you're done talking about me, Ben can sod off!" Rose called through from her bedroom, laughing a little.**

**The Doctor nodded. "You can't help being protective of her can you." he said and grinned when he heard her. "We're not done yet! Go to sleep!" he called back, shrugging off his coat and sat down, grabbing a book, kicking off his shoes as he did.**

"**You gonna make me?" she smirked, standing by the door.**

"**If he doesn't I will." Ben smirked back.**

**She squealed, laughed and disappeared into the room.**

**The Doctor grinned and stood up, walking to the room, standing by the doorway, he knew he shouldn't look at her in her nightwear, so he kept his eyes on her face. "Maybe I will make you, sing you lullabies and rock you to sleep." he teased.**

"**I'm not three years old." she smirked, sitting on her bed.**

"**You act it most of the time." Ben said.**

"**You'd know wouldn't you." she grinned.**

**The Doctor smiled, watching the banter. "Is he staying?"**

"**No, he's going. Aren't you." she smirked.**

"**Fine I'm going!" Ben laughed, holding his hands up. "I'll see you tomorrow." he said and walked out.**

**She grinned and lay back on the bed.**

**The Doctor went to check the door and locked everything, turned off all the lights as he went, and reappeared back at her door within minutes. "Well then, Miss Tyler, good night." he said.**

"**Stay with me?" she asked with a small pout, looking up at him.**

"**What… right there?" he asked, pointing to where she was. "I can sleep on the couch if you want… I'm not going anywhere… unless you meant…" he pointed again at where she lay. "There."**

'_**Oh God I sound so stupid! Stop talking now!' **_**he thought.**

"**Yes right here." she said, still pouting and still looking up at him. "It's not like I'm gonna jump you or do anything." she said. "I'm not that kinda girl. And anyway, I have to be up early tomorrow, one of my friends is getting married." she smirked.**

**The Doctor slowly walked over to her and pulled off his suit jacket, and slowly sat next to her, still a little wary in case she was joking. "Oh really? Anyone I'd know?" he asked, though he knew it was impossible.**

"**You know more than one escort then?" she teased with a smirk. "Nah, she's just a really good friend, really close. Which is quite lucky actually, cause when you're in a place full of girls, and you're doing what we do, an looking as stunning as we all do? There's bitching at the best of times, but you trust NONE of them. But she… she would never intentionally stab someone in the back. Her escort name is Bambi for a reason." she laughed a little.**

**He wrinkled his nose. "Bambi?" he repeated, still staring at her. "Weid." he frowned then sniled at her. "Well then, best get some sleep, can't be knackered for tomorrow."**

"**Hey don't let her hear you say that when we see her in the morning." she laughed. "You try looking into those big, wide, innocent brown eyes and say it's not a good name for her, and see how far you get!"**

**He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "And how does her new husband feel about the whole escort thing?" he leant across her to turn off the lamp, plunging them into darkness. "Stop diversing sleep." he added and leant against the headboard, his left arm under his head.**

"**He's fine with it. In fact he started off as her client." she smirked. "And they've only been together just over a month. It's not completely impossible to find love with this job, but it's not advisable. Maybe I seem to find all the shitty pig headed ones."**

**He listened, and looked a little shocked. "Just over a month? Jeez she must be really good in bed." he commented with a cheeky grin. "Nah you're just not looking in the right places."**

"**Yeah. But not as good as me." she laughed. "If she was asked to do half the stuff I've been asked she'd have left this stuff long ago."**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter nine**

**The Doctor rose an eyebrow, looking at her. "Take it you don't hold back?"he then blushed. Sex wasn't really a big topic with him. Of course he'd had sex… but that was what… 200 years ago? He was almost asexual now, didn't need it. Of course it was nice, but even still. He rolled his eyes. "Not that I'm saying you're easy or whatever offence you could take to that."**

"**You name it, I've most likely done it." she smirked. "Everything from S'n'M sex with food, someone even liked animal noises." she laughed.**

**He stared at her in the dark for a second, suddenly very shocked. He'd never thought of his Rose Tyler having sex, not even doing the things she'd just told him.**

**He mentally shook his head, correcting himself. He had thought… often very late at night when he was sure Rose was sleeping… but that was… different. "R-really?" his voice cracked with his surprise.**

**She laughed again. "People pay good money to come to me! But yeah, I've put some of my antics down as experience, it's not something I want to do again." she laughed. "Though… the food one was quite fun." she bit her lip, giggling.**

**Interested, he lay on his side and looked at her. "Really? What food?" he asked as calmly as though he were merely commenting on the weather.**

**She giggled. "Now you're interested?"**

**He blushed dark red, thankfully not seen in the dark. "Yes, well… as an individual… you know how I react to different foods… like banana and marmalade…" he cut off his ramblings sheepishly. "I'm just curious."**

**She laughed. "Yes, but you wouldn't have sex with them, would you." she smirked. "Well… when I was first introduced to it… I didn't feel comfortable with the stuff we'd used like… cold beans or pies or whatever. But we… tried again using more solid stuff like cakes and other things." she shrugged.**

**He paused for a minute. "I don't know… bananas are good." he laughed a little. "Baked beans and pies?" he stared. "EW!" he whined like a child, screwed up his face and hid it in a pillow.**

**She burst into a ftit of laughter. "It could have been worse! I could have explained another thing I've done!" she smirked. "And no I'm not gonna say. You'll have nightmares if and when you eventually fall asleep, and you will never look at me in the same way again."**

'_**Bit too late for that.' **_**he thought. He couldn't help it, she should have known telling him not to ask was ridiculous. "Share." he persisted, though slightly afraid of what she'd say.**

"**That's a terrible thing to inflict on anyone!" she laughed. "He um… liked me to say I was all these sorts of animals… and make the noises…" she bit her lip, shaking with the laughter she was holding in.**

**He squeaked and fell off the bed. "How can you actually… do that!" he said, his mouth gaping open as he sat on the floor.**

**She let out her laugh. "With great difficulty, let me tell you." she smirked.**

**He let out a small chuckle and got back onto the bed. "Anyway, enough of the lovely sexual experience, dear, you need some rest." he said, relaxing once more.**

"**You asked, you got told. Don't wanna know, don't ask." she smirked, closing her eyes.**

"**I was curious, in a very un-sexual way." he said, double checking his words.**

"**Like I said, don't ask if you're scared of what you're going to hear."**

"**Scared?" he said with a frown. "I'll have you know I'm not 'scared' of sex, Miss Tyler. I am in fact a rather sexual creature. I just haven't been in 'heat' for a while." he sounded dignified as he spoke, smirking at her. **

"**Alright then." she smirked, turning the lamp on, and turning to face him. "Prove you're not scared. The day after tomorrow I'm back in work. Come with me. And I'll prove all your misconceptions wrong, and you will prove to me you're not scared."**

"**What do you mean, come with you?" he stared at her as his eyes adjusted to the light. "Just stand there or join in?" he questioned her with a raised eyebrow. He always liked a challenge.**

"**I doubt you'd know what he'd want. Not like I do." she smirked. "But it's up to you. Of course he'd be paying me, but I'm willing to share."**

**He fell silent, considering it. "A guy?" he asked. Of course, he wasn't picky…a bit like a… calmer Jack. Aliens, male, female, both, all three. "Share?" he smirked at her. But then there were two pains in his arse. 1) Rose Tler wearing most likely and preferably nothing… could he control himself? 2) Another man drooling over her… could he handle that? "Game on."**

**She laughed. "One condition. You can't get possessive or protective over me. You have to let me do my job." she smirked. **

**He let out a strangled groan. "But… ugh fine…" he said, though he knew it was an empty promise, he knew he'd react differently. ""**

**I'll let you do your job.**

"**Thank you. I know what I'm doing." she grinned and turned off the light and closed her eyes.**

**He nodded simply and watched her. "That's decided then." he said finally.**

**She said nothing as she drifted to sleep, shifting a little to get comfortable.**

**He watched her. "I love you." he said audibly, smiling softly. He usually didn't sleep a lot so he spent an hour just watching her and thinking before he allowed himself to sleep.**


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry it took so long guys, I forgot about this story. This is the last chapter because the RP I had going has dried up completely, hence why I forgot about the fic.**  
**

**Chapter ten**

**Rose woke up slowly the next morning, stretching herself out slightly and she turned over to face the Docor whom she'd half expected to hae left, and she smiled softly.**

**The Doctor only slept for an hour, as expected, but he'd kept his eyes shut till morning. He felt movement beside him and opened his eyes looking at her, smiling gently. "So today's the day?" he asked softly.**

"**Ew… you make it sound like I'm the one getting married." she giggled. She got up and walked out of the room to the bathroom for a shower.**

**He chuckled then smirked, waiting for her, before realising she'd probably want to get ready in peace, so he got up, pulling on his suit jacket, and he walked out into the living room to pull on his converse and he walked out to the TARDIS.**

**He was back inside the flat before she'd even got out the shower, looking fresh in his usual pinstripes, a white shirt instead of the blue with a black tie. He walked into the kitchen to make them both a cup of tea, which he'd taken into her bedroom, waiting for her there.**

**Rose came back out the shower, a towel wrapped securely around her and she was in her dressing gown, her hair wrapped in a towel on her head. She sat at the vanity table, shaking her hair down and towelling it to get the majority of the water out and she picked up her hair dryer from the floor underneath the table and started to dry her hair.**

**He was sat on the bed, relaxing as he watched her dry her hair. "So how's it going to work today? We're going as friends, yes?" he asked. "And how will… the erm… you know… bet work out?"**

"**Yeah we're goin' as friends." she said, still drying her hair. "What bet? I said I'd prove your misconceptions wrong." she smirked "That's not till tomorrow anyway."**

**He nodded slowly. "Good. Good." he said, clicking his tongue. "Yeah, but I bet you can't keep your hands off me. Rather have me then him." he teased. "Am I joining in or watching?"**

"**Oh believe me, I can control myself. And I'm getting paid for this you know." she laughed. "Well that depends on who I get tomorrow. Like I said last night I only get some of the best. And he will be one of the best. And… we'll have to cross that line when we come to it." she smirked.**

**He raised an eyebrow, ignoring the jealousy. "Oh yeah?"**

"**Yep." she nodded, finishing with her hair, throwing it up in a messy ponytail and started on her make up.**

**He watched her still, smiling softly. "You don't need make up." he said.**

"**Yes I do. And you try telling that to any girl you meet. You'll get the same reaction." she said, carrying on.**

**She was right. Again. He nodded. "Right. I'll let you finish getting ready. Meet you by the door?" he asked, standing up.**

"**Yeah sure." she nodded, looking at him for a moment before returning to the task at hand.**

**He nodded and walked into the living room. He spotted pictures of her with friends, some of her and her family. He smiled a little. She'd really moved on, let herself be happy.**

**She finished getting ready and put on her dress, her shoves and have her hair one final brush through before walking into the living room after fifteen minutes.**

**He stopped messing about with things when he heard her come in, and he stood up, his hands in his pockets. "You look beautiful."**

**She smiled and blushed a little. "Thanks."**

**He nodded and offered his arm. "Come on then. Incredibly domestic, this." he laughed softly.**

**She laughed and took his arm. "Yeah, reminds me of when we were stuck on that planet in orbit around a black hole. And I scared you."**

**He smirked lightly at the memory. "Ah yes. With the Ood. And when did you scare me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow as he lead them both to the door.**

"**You're gonna have to settle down, get a house." she smirked. "You'd have to get a mortgage." she teased, grabbing her bag off the table before she shut the door behind them and locked it, walking down the stairs.**

**He shuddered at the memory, laughing and following her.**

**She grinned and walked outside, walking to the taxi and checked it was for her before she got in, looking out the back window to see another car pulling up behind the taxi. "Get in and we can go. She'll kill me if I'm late."**

**He beamed like a lunatic and jumped into the taxi, his eyes wide. "Haven't been in a taxi in… ooh at least fifty years." he said with a thoughtful grin, rambling as usual. Nothing changed.**

**She elbowed him sharply in his side. "He's over exaggerating." she told the driver as they were driven off. "Some things are best left unsaid. We are still on Earth you know." she hissed at the Doctor with a smirk.**

**He growled and rubbed his most likely now bruised side. "And you know you have extremely pointy elbows." he hissed back, smirking back.**

"**Oh, it's a shame I didn't aim lower."**

"**If you don't want me showing you up at this wedding, I'd behave, Tyler." he said sternly, a daring smirk on his face.**

**She laughed. "Me? Behave? Never!" she smirked. "I'm completely different now."**

**He looked at her appreciatively. "I can see."**

"**Not yet you can't." she pointed out.**

"**Why not?"**

"**Because I'm not at work yet." She smirked.**

"**I'll just have to wait won't I."**

"**Yes you will."**

**He rose an eyebrow at her with a wicked smile.**

**She looked at him. "What?" she asked as the taxi rolled to a stop.**

"**Nothing." he said, getting out.**

**She rolled her eyes, paying the fare and got out.**

"**Belle!"**

**Rose turned, grinning. "Hey." she said, seeing Bambi run to her and the pair hugged.**

**The Doctor stood, watching the pair of them.**


End file.
